All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind.-K.G

I guess it's nice to start off with the highlight of our holy week trip to Manila. The main reason we went there of course was for Kuya's temple marriage with Jill. They met last April of 2008 when they were both serving on a full time mission in Quezon City. Just in case you're wondering, what I am talking about, I am Latter-Day Saint commonly known as a Mormon (as if that explains everything but it pretty much does). So we had to travel to Manila from Mindanao because the only temple of the church in the Philippines is in Manila and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints it is very important for us to be married at the Lord's temple.  Of course the temple is not just beautiful but wonderful and more. I am not really good in painting pictures through words so here are some pictures:

I missed taking pictures of the front view of the temple...tsk3, but really it is one if not the most beautiful place I've ever been to. It's not the first time I've been here but it felt like it was.
Manila means Krispy Kreme.
Shallow as it may seems but one thing we should not fail to do in our stay in Manila aside from Kuya's marriage is to sit in a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Store and Factory. Here is the evidence. Enjoying it!
It's a pretty cool place with a Krispy Kreme Theater where you can view how those scrumptious doughnuts are made. It's in SM Mall of Asia, the only mall I enjoyed strolling in Manila. Too bad we had not really explored the entire mall, thanks to the a**hole taxi driver who thinks we're that ignorant in Manila and consumed 2 hours of our time going in circles, my father was close to strangling him but my brother and sister calmed him down. I was being sarcastic at that time and wanted to add more fuel to the fire by making side comments... Transportation in Manila stressed me out really. Buses were also expensive maybe because there were TVs on them (LOL). Everyone seemed to be on the rush in Manila to think it was the Holy Week, how much more if it wasn't. We missed riding the MRT because my mom thought it was not a good idea. Hmmm, I really want to experience it but thought otherwise when we're on the cue.
Holy Thursday and Good Friday
It's not really a good idea to stay in Manila during these days especially when you're not staying at a hotel. I got toasted inside a pretty small but nevertheless accomodating enough house. Thanks to Ever Gotesco despite it's aged-look at least it was enough to burn the time last Thursday. We tried to go to Cubao but we found malls and stores except for fast foods were closed. We travelled all the way from Fairview to Cubao for nothing really except burn the time. Friday was the longest day--all we ever did was wait and a bit of snakes and ladders thanks to the store called "Lahat 10" we were able to have the board game at the cost of 10 pesos. We were so excited to go home that we cannot sleep that Friday evening and arrived at the airport at 11:40 pm to wait for our 4 am flight. I was able to take a nap at the pre-departure area and woke up and waited again.
Waiting for the flight (mukha ngang bagong gising)
6K777. Flight to Davao.

Zest Air-Asia's Most Refreshing Airlines? Finally, we were going home something tells me it's not gonna be as smooth as the flight to Manila but I was clearing my head with negative thoughts. I was thinking I was just too bothered by the fact that my brother and I kept on joking around how we gonna die in a plane crash but it's okay because at least we are all gonna vanish at the same moment and Kuya already has a new immediate family. Serves us right! We were in the row where the wings are and where there are emergency exits. This tall, chinito, cute, handsome steward (but slightly questionable in gender) asked Bary how old he is because one cannot be at that row below 15 and he asked me too, I suddenly forgot my age and took 3 seconds for me to answer. I laughed at this moment in my head and also laughed again because this was the second time in the trip that a person thought of me as somewhere between 13 to 17 years of age.

Any-hows, we realized a responsibility is weighed on us being at that row, we were instructed how to open and throw the door if an emergency happens and then we will assist other passengers. Oh no! As if something's really gonna happen that we already assumed responsibility. Anyhows, somehow there were moments in the flight that we really thought what the steward taught us will be put to use. I can laughed at it now but I was damn scared at those moments. From the take-off, we already experience something unusual and then I felt something is really wrong and they announced that we were encountering turbulence, on the landing to Davao it was once again pretty rough. I am thankful to be alive and writing this entry.
                                                                     

I'm glad to be back in Davao. It would take some great deal of time and some good purpose to convince me to go back to Manila.

This is really a day worth talking about.
First, I was absent from my Anthropology class (not really worth talking about). Anyway, I still went to school later in the afternoon because my adviser will be giving us feedback on our product (thesis, I'd rather call it product to make it sound less academic and still appeal like it's something you do out of something, I hate explaining, who ask me to explain, anyways?). My heart was pounding because I was nervous that my adviser would tell me that I have a major revision to do when it's only 4 days before the submission to the panelists. I should mention that I just have an all-star cast panelists, lucky me? LOL. I can't wait for another grilling moment. Haha. Oh, yes, before I forget my adviser said that I had all the data needed and my only problem is presenting it. Make it less wordy. be consistent on the graphs and textual things. No serious tweaking. What a relief! That wasn't a really interesting story. Here goes the story... I was lucky that I rode a princess (tricy-boat?) from UP to Mintal and a resident of Bago Oshiro shared the ride with me so I assumed that the fare would be 8 pesos and then the driver told me when I handed my fare that.."Tin baya" I was like huh? I was thinking "WHAT!" he expects me to pay like six-tin?! And then maybe he realized by my look and said "diyes ba." AHHHHH...I was really amuse, you see what difference an enunciation makes..if the driver had not clarify it, I should have complained.
Next story, on my way to a training I saw this barbershop called "Harry Cutter." I just thought when someone asked a person where he got his cool haircut what would he say? "Bay, sa Harry Cutter." Many people are really fond of giving catchy but not at all splendid names. Do they intend to make it humorous? Makes me think about Kini Rogers and JFC (Jenny Fried Chicken). Filipinos are really creative but sometimes it really is over-the-top and corny. But my idol is Pacman calling her daughter Queen Elizabeth.  Who are they kidding? Anyway, it's theirs not mine.
Third story, this high school kid got off with his girlfriend only paying for one person, the driver looked pissed but wasn't able to do anything about it.
Fourth story, Sister Dalton is really beautiful, how I wish I would still look as "Fabulous" as her at that age. I loved the way she says "Fabulous". She looked like my grandma. And yes, my sister is really funny, this leader is I guess a Chinese so his accent and enunciation is different from the usual and when he said what is "Voture" my sister answered on her seat "scavenger." Of course I know he meant virtue and so I thought my sister is rude to make fun of his enunciation as it turned out my sister just made an honest mistake. It was funny. Made me recall what happened earlier with the tricy driver. I really learned and realized a lot of things this day. It just came to me that I might not be able to blog for 18 months after my 21st birthday. Am I really going? Still need to kneel about it.
But I'm so sleepy. Ends here as of now. TTFN.

I did something that really hurt me...
Thanks to my jinx nature.
I just can't get over the fact that I slipped at the mall and got down on bended knees...I just had a good laugh at it, my companion was more embarrassed than I was. Nobody laugh but they looked like they felt sorry for me..I wasn't really hurt on the emotional or mental level, but my knees really hurt right now.
But generally I am doing just fine. I am taking my break, no school stuffs these 3 days. I am taking 3 days off.

I'll take a brief break from writing academic papers and decided to post an entry. I feel that for the past days in my life I am consumed by one dreadful thing-thesis. It's not dreadful like a beast with fangs and nasty breath, it's more like I dread it coz if I won't do it well it might be my impediment for my goal this year. I am getting nerder than ever. You know you woke up at dawn and the first thing that enters your head when your in the state of consciousness is thesis, then you could no longer go back to sleep. It's really dreadful, to think that up to now I am still confuse and unsure if I'm doing the right thing or I'm on the right track. My sister told me it's unusual for me not talking about the amusing things people do at school or my one-sided infatuations. The truth is I am not surprised why I am liked this coz I made up my mind to do so. I was quite successful burrying those silly thoughts of mine lately. However, in my state of REM, what were suppressed surfaced, what were forgotten became alive in dreams, shoot, it seemed that face surely knows how to enter in my realm of thoughts again. But I'm fine with it, I'm learning to keep whatsoever emotions sober (sober but not deleted, what's for werewolf is something i can't get out of my system, it's been a struggle for the last 6 years, prospects of overpowering him have come and gone but he always remained which I can't understand when I barely know him-what good has he done to me?-he puzzles me so). But aside from that wolf and thesis, there are other things that are taking a bit of myself...  Why do I let so many things get through me?  Like Lakers, I really do want them to have the best record in the league and so i ended up disappointed when they lose a game.. what I don't like about it is that they just barely lose when they lost against their opponents.. I should learn not to be so affected after all it's just a sport, right?

Change topic...Oh, I have been thinking lately (and I am a bit annoyed but still I really find it amusing) how my friends and famiy became traitors when face-to-face with my interest.. like how a friend of mine burst into laughter in front of... how my best buddy completely sold me out, leaving no place for that person to wonder that I have an inclination for him... how my barkada once cause a commotion and pushed me to... how my sister and father pick on me when this person is around..or how a slip of a tongue by a relative can cause even the least person you could expect to find out, finds out, and what makes it double the trouble is that person will definitely speak of it to him and his circle... I am so obvious that my only shield right now is my acting skills..To act and pretend they don't know anything is so foolish but I'm doing it anyway..I won't make any advancement, I had given more than enough hints or should I say thanks to my friends and family for being the voice when I didn't ask them to..Am I really that hopeless that people deliberately make efforts and go out of their way without me asking to communicate my feelings to someone? Or is the other party, that someone, do really need some push? But it's not really working..all it ever did was boost the ego of that person..yah see,thanks for the trouble and now I really don't know how to act naturally in front of the person..and I bet he doesn't either..so thanks guys for the awkwardness you're causing us..

Any-hows I think what I said about that issue is enough to lessen my stress over it...But stress doesn't end there...

I just realized I have a really tough week ahead...

midterm for Anthro 1 with kazillion of readings that I have not yet finish reading...an instructional video which will be starred by yours truly...journal entries and a reading that our professor specially mentioned to be read carefully in my crisis communication (I only have read 3 pages)...read Oedipus Rex, study movie elements and Aristotle's tragedy (need to do it coz there will be a graded recitation)..to top it off..there willonly be 10 days before thesis draft submission..and I failed to mention i will be the 3rd one to defend my thesis... Need to unleash my superhuman powers.. Oh, i can't wait to put an end to this demanding UP life so I got to put extra effort as of the moment..kunting tiis na lang... Pray for me.

Family Christmas Traditions. Christmas Eve party with cousins, aunties, nieces, nephews, grandparent. 

• food (LECHON BABOY for three consecutive nights and my first love:all sorts of sweeeetsss)
• games (you just have to laugh how people messed up and do foolish mistakes-purely PKL ptaka ka lang-kalelehan-like how I guessed that the action meant a dolphin when it was a horse and more, during these times you learn a lot about people's skills and weaknesses)
• talent show (it's only this time of the year that I got to see these people do their thing)
• gifts (it's my lucky year, so unlike the 2006 when I collected photo albums when I don't really have pictures to fill them, this year I pretty got all things that tickles my fancy though I didn't ask for it)
• completeness (kuya and ate's presence made all the difference after two years of spending Christmas without them)

LAKERS WON AGAINST CELTICS. Need I say more?

It's about time that I take things seriously. I got to work but I am not in the mood doing academic work. It's gonna be less than a year and hopefully I'll say "sayonara" to being a student whose house is a five-minute HH drive from the school yet often arrived 10-minutes or more late. Very bad student but I am not like this before. I arrived at school and still got time to chat with my classmates before the teacher arrived, unlike now I am catching my breath as I arrived late. What's going on with me? I even am writing this entry when I should be revising my thesis proposal due this sixth day of October. I am quite anxious with my fourth year life, you see I am not the type of person who believes in superstition and stuffs like that yet I have this inexplicable happening that occured consecutively when graduation year came. It's not a good thing and I hope this will break this time. I want to graduate on time. I have been doing my part as a student for the last three years and more. Yes, I do deserve it. I am quite old now, at least that's what I think. I am no longer in my teenage years yet I feel younger than I was when I was fourteen. It's about time for me to have a focus and have goals and atleast lessen my attitude of living for the moment. Sometimes I have the feeling of not existing ten years from now because I cannot see what lies ahead for me. I cannot imagine what will happen when I reached 30. People have hopes and dreams for me but I really don't have one for myself. It's a pity. That's why I envy people who knows what they really want in life. Those people who might not be that great but they know what they are good at. Unlike me, people often say I am ALL THAT. They say it's impossible for me not to excel. The trouble of this is that it becomes a big deal when you fail but when you do become successful it's nothing because it's expected. Enough of this EMOness. I am HAPPY despite all these concerns. I know these concerns of mine are little compared to the crisis in other people's lives. I still have my FAITH and that's something I am blessed with compare to the growing number of unbelievers. So I am old-fashioned and all. I don't drink, smoke, and do things below moral standards, I don't stay late at night partying, I stay at home and snuggle with my family. I got a lot of simple things that make life a bliss complete. I am navigating away from the topic I begun. This just proves how cluttered my head is at this moment. No use talking to me. It's been a month of no LOAD in my phone. I really am getting weirder, straying away from reality, hopefully I will found me soon. But you know what, I really need something or maybe someone to spice up this monotonous ACAD-immersed life. hahaha

I almost forgot about this essay:

It was published in two sites:

mindanews

skyscrapercity.com


STA. MARIA, Davao del Sur (MindaNews/05 October) -- With my wind-blown hair, dust-powdered face and a butt that ached after sitting for two hours in a jampacked jeep, we finally reached Kisulad.

I stepped down and scanned the area, wondering where the resort could be when all I saw were tall coconut palms, an abandoned basketball court, ruins of a concrete stage and a little view of the sea.

In the midst of my wondering, a voice interrupted, "Dayn, bag mo." (Dayn, your bag) My big brother handed down my backpack and so the rest of us got busy with things to carry. When there were no longer bags on top of the jeep, when the vehicle was emptied of all the big plastic bottles of mineral water, cooking utensils, a bag of vegetables, groceries, cooler and tents, our leader told us to follow him. I realized we still had to travel by foot to reach the resort.

We walked along the shore. On the side facing the sea, I saw a few shacks made from different scrap materials. The place was quiet and even seemed deserted. But there are residents here, as one can see freshly used black net hanging on a fishing boat.

I looked down on the grayish sand and saw seaweeds the waves brought to shore. When I looked at the far end of the shore, I caught a glimpse of the rich green chain of mountains along the coastline that seemed to stretch out towards the sea. I wondered how we were going to get there when there's a cliff that blocked our path.

Nearing the cliff, I realized that stairs were intentionally carved at the sides to reach the other side. The first step is just where the shore meets the waves. I saw some worried faces of those who were wearing jeans and rubber shoes.

Good thing I wore shorts and a pair of slippers. So I splashed my way to reach the first step of the rocky stairs and took a careful step after another. My knees got weak looking down at the rocky surface and the waves that drummed against it. The only support I got was a bamboo railing which serves only for balance. Midway, I found out there was another cliff. Before reaching it, we walked along a narrow shore, a rock wall on one side and the sea on the other. The very narrow shore leaves just enough room for one person to traverse it without getting wet (at low tide).

Drops of sweat were dripping on our foreheads with the summer noontime sun looking down on us and a heavy load of bags on our backs. I was still scared on the next cliff but I had to stop in the middle of it to relish my first view of the place I'll be staying in for the next three days.



All my complaints during the whole trip melted away as I was greeted with the wonderful sight of the beautiful white sand shore with rich green hills on one side and the clear aqua blue water on the other side. Tall coconut palms that gently bow down to the majestic sea was such a magnificent sight that reminded me of a postcard picture.

The scene made me feel like I was in Survivor Pearl Islands with only us around within a paradise away from civilization. But there were thatched huts under the shade of talisay trees that lined up along the coastline. There were also fishing boats and a white fishing boat with bold red font written on it that says "WELCOME TO WOW KISS." I grinned when I read it, and shared my thoughts on how odd it was to name the place WOW KISS. Later on, it made sense when I realized it stood for “World Of Wonder, Keep It Secret and Simple.” I also learned that the boat was owned by former education secretary Ricardo Gloria who is known for his “WOW” Education.
I removed my slippers and enjoyed the feel of gripping the sand between my toes, raising my foot, spreading apart my toes and letting the sand back to the beach, and then, my stomach uttered a cry. By this time I realized I needed to get myself under the shade of a cottage and eat my lunch. But before joining the others, I stopped and grinned again when I read the message posted on a wooden board on the cottage: “Midlife Crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same size." Later, after scanning the whole place, I realized boards with sayings like "Do Your Best and God Will Do The Rest" are everywhere, on huts, on trees.

Everything seemed perfect as I ate my fried chicken and rice, talking to my friends while enjoying the view of the aqua-blue sea until we found only SMART network had a signal in this place (good thing though because we fully enjoyed the experience without diversion of texting).

After finishing our lunch, we headed for our cabins. We walked on a path with stones painted with white on either side and shrubs and coconut palms lined up on both sides to accentuate the path. It somehow had an appearance of a park with island gardens at the middle of crossing paths, carpeted with bermuda and carabao grass.

Cabins are on the hill so one has to climb up a couple of steps of concrete stairs before reaching it. The cabin itself is made of wood with a small balcony that gives you a taste of the wonderful view of the sea and the mountain ranges along the coastline that stretches out towards the sea. The cabin has two beds and a bathroom. I suddenly felt exhausted so I laid down on my bed.

Just when my eyelids were about to drop, someone called out, "Panganaog namo kay magteam building na'ta." (Come on down, it's time for team building). Though I really wanted to stay in bed, I stood up and headed down. After all, I was here to participate in a youth camp.

Good thing I did, or else I would miss the fun of digging the sand for a treasure, climbing up and down the hill, feeling like a challenger in Survivor Pearl Islands with my team as a tribe.

It was late afternoon when the physical activity ended and we headed for the prayer room at the top of the hill. Getting there was another challenge with the steepness and the eroding soil underneath the concrete tile stairs. On top of the hill is a simple room made of native materials -- a wooden floor, amakan walls, and nipa roof with a balcony that gives you the panoramic view of the resort. The room is almost bare with only a narra table on a banig at the center and a few posters on the wall. Its walls heard us as we shared our experiences and the learning we gained from the day’s activities.

As the sun was about to set, I found myself a hut where a rattan hammock slung from its posts. It was so nice to be lying in a hammock swinging from side to side, watching the sunset at the horizon, free from all worries, away from the noise and smoke of the city. Then, it was only us around and it felt like we were in an exclusive private resort, our paradise hidden by a wall of hills.

My day started off rough with the bumpy roads inside a jampacked jeep but it ended with a joyful heart and a calm mind.

I closed my eyes and savored the feel of the sea breeze as it touched my skin. I looked forward to the next two days.

http://www.mindanews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3309&Itemid=50

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What's the big deal with being twenty years old? Am I really that old? Just because I am no longer in the category of teenagers doesn't mean I am old. I opted to write a post an entry on my twentieth birthday last Wednesday but I felt no force impelling me to do so. Probably because I still feel the same and I was much consumed with the arrival of my big brother from a full-time mission. We finally was there at the airport to fetch him last Thursday. I can't believe two years had gone by. You see time just ticks and ticks and the next thing you know it your seventy years old, but the feeling is still the same. My brother told me nothing had change in my appearance, that I'm still the same old me when he left. I take that as a compliment considering the fuss about my being 20. You see I don't look like a woman yet, at least in my perception. I don't like to dress up that much and I am not the type of girl who brushes her cheeks with blush-ons. I don't like wearing heels, I prefer walking shoes and sneakers. People at school wishes to see me in a dress but I am not inclined wearing a skirt when I had to ride an HH. I still have baby fats (euphemism..hehehe) and I still never was engaged to a boy-girl relationship with commitment. It's not like I don't want to but it's more like I haven't been in a favorable circumstance. Some people say I should get into one because I might be overwhelmed with it due to inexperience. But for me it's not that easy, I chose to be single than engaging into a relationship just for the sake of having an experience. One who learns from his/her own experience is wise but one who learns from others is wiser, right? I chose to be in the latter. Now, I am striving to deserve Mr. Good Guy. It's been six years and still I am bewitched by him. I may never find another one like the guy with the seer's name. Hahahaha...

I promised to think of a topic and find one before classes begin...As expected I didn't, of course, it was in the back of my mind, but I really don't have any drive to think of the solution unless I'm standing face-to-face with the problem when you can't run away and when have no choice but to do something...This thesis idea really is my constant companion even more than a boyfriend, even when  I sleep I think of it in my dreams. The conscious and the subconscious is working hand in hand to haunt me.  I feel a bit relieved now, though, than the previous days. I finally have a topic and an adviser..A starting point for me, a starting point which is incomplete (since taking up philosophical analysis, things about philo is finding its way to integrate itself to my system)..

Next to thesis, my academic priority is Communication Planning, not because I like the subject but because of the level of expectation of our instructor-she always raise the bar higher. Other subjects are okay, in fact, I think I can learn to like them, psychology is pretty interesting and the instructor has a good sense of humor (crazy), the rest are fine...Hmmm, Philosophy is quite challenging and the atmosphere of the room plus the voice of the instructor  is conducive for sleeping, good thing I have a bit of inspiration to keep me awake, and something to look forward to...

I was looking forward for this mid-May for the reason that I can finally went on some other place to enjoy "paradise" with the ones closest to my heart-my family and relatives.  A time to forget about school, about problems, and anything that will put shadows in the world I know and I've been living. But before that can happen, I have to go through two examinations meaning I have to devote my time to studying and memorizing names and terms or else I will flank.  Those who hated doing these things might consider this a torture but for me who was amazingly studying without being told when she was six, this is not the case. I am not that fond of studying as I was before but I think that studying this subject is quite enjoyable, why? First, because it's visuals not really as boring as studying a lame-written history or not as bleeding as studying the biochemical processes, it's about Art particularly paintings. Second, I like challenging my "photographic" memory (if I have). Third, I really do wanted to be perfect so I will be exempted in the oral exam. I dreaded the idea of answering questions in an instant so I was thinking I'll fail it (me and my exaggerated negative thoughts and premonitions). I also wanted to be exempted so we can go to the "place" earlier. So I did my part as a good student, I studied and memorized by heart more than 300 paintings with their artists. And lastly, I am sorta inspired and at least make a lasting impression with the teacher.

So what exactly happened in the exams?

Written exam didn't turned out as I wanted it to be but as I expected I did well but I fell a few points shy of my ultimate goal --"1.00" grade. Almost but not quite but I was not completely disappointed because the next day in the oral exam the teacher informed me I got the highest grade in the exam and I did quite well in the oral (better than I expected). So my mood at that moment after the oral was rejuvenated, elated and excited to go to Island Garden City of Samal. Anyways, I decided to have a separate post for my Samal getaway.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.



You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.



This is funny...wow, it sorta hit me except a few i disagree..like i don't strive for perfection and i am not organized nor orderly...but hey I can't help but laugh with " You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts...You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals." so true this is me and there's more... You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long." arrghhh, how many Nadines are in the world anyways but surely I have to agree with this.

What have I done? Did I hurt someone by simply saving that person from something worse?

It's really weird. . .I don't even know if I am really the reason. . .But my nose is kinda itchy, a sign that something unusual is going on without me really knowing it...There's really something wrong with me...or maybe it's just that I have colds...Anyways, perhaps I am fussing over nothing...I hope that person is okay...I am not really worth. . .I couldn't say it...

Yesterday my classmate/neighbor invited me to her house with our common friends being there, too...But i am not really feeling well yesterday due to colds (still has) so I just stayed at home while I hear their singing and laughter next door...But it's just steps away, I would barely burn calories...I dunno why but I feel there's something wrong with me for not enjoying videoke and partyin'. . .


Another load I have to unload is my reporting earlier...It's really bad, I feel like I messed up, so humiliating...I really didn't prepare what to say in front because I just sleep and sleep because I feel tired because I am sick...I was thinking that if I force myself to work on my report I will end up worse...But you know what? it's still the same, I was feeling unwell and my energy level is way down plus no preparation equals major disaster! But I guess I should forgive myself because I was sick. . .


Tomorrow, we'll have a presentation which will make up 1/3 of our final grade, and we were informed just today...God bless to us!

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/1481956

I am almost done watching this series... There's really nothing so special about it..It's a bit predictable.. They hated each other first and then later on the hate turns to love.. While the other guy (the goody-goody guy, who does well in everything) whom she originally liked got dumped by her.. She's pretty lucky indeed. Hmmm.. Why I like this? It's because I liked Jia Di and Huo Yan's chemistry.. Or plainly I am addicted to romantic comedy and Cinderella-like story.. My classmates didn't like watching Mike He and this girl (i forgot the name) together.. They said the guy is so hot and handsome while the girl is plain-looking.. My comment? Well, I think the girl did well performing her role... She's cute and I couldn't name any Taiwanese actress who's prettier than her (hehe..I only know her, the one in Hana Kimi, and Shan Cai-that explains why)...So I think they looked good as a couple in this series..Hey, in real life many hot guy/girl is with someone who's not as good-looking as the other half, coz you know, it's more than looks...

first year, first sem: first month, i fell on the "habal-habal" HH (motorcycle), good thing i was't really injured.. first sem was over and i got text messages from my classmates saying that only three got a passing grade in our Fil20 (it didn't include me).. ok, first sem already got a conditional failure for a subject i never ever thought and imagined to fail (come on, it was purely a big mistake--i guess that teacher hated our batch).. ok, so i did passed it after taking the removal.. (what a good eternal mark written on the first page of my transcript).. Second Sem: already, somewhat adjusted to UP life, already mastered HH riding, more tanned than ever, "don't care about how i look syndrome", introduced to interesting species (can't forget the BUTT exposure-so harassing).. Second sem seemed so long coz WE ALL got an INCOMPLETE grade, and I was pressured by my classmate to finish the paper on the TAUSUG syntax and all so he can transfer to Diliman.. talk about doing project  on a summer when all your damn groupmates are back in their province relaxing..hehe. What an accomplishment got a 4 (conditional failure) and incomplete grade in the first year!

SECOND YEAR: 1st sem- found myself seeking for a new company, left behind by the only two people i can relate to- but still proud of myself for enduring it and grabbed the chance to befriend my other blockmates, also proud for being among the top studs in stat despite having College of Science and Mathematics classmates- Did good- just .04 behind to get into Dean's List- 2nd Sem: hmmm, can't remember much anymore-

THIRD YEAR: 1st sem: started to feel the danger of not GRADUATING ON TIME- papers after papers- one on one with the monitor- 2nd SEM: still processing.. now in danger, facing the reality, it's sinking in, still am looking for a topic for my research proposal and it's due less than two months.. taking up a subject that cause many to fly miles to to Diliman just to avoid the instructor.. who knows what will be the end of this sem.. keep my fingers crossed.. 

Well, lately I'm hooked with tennis..It's Australian Open and yepee, my Novak won!!! He really played well throughout the tournament..Just last Friday I cried tears of joy after he stunned World's No. 1 Roger Federer at the Semi-finals..I really can't explain why I cried..HAha..Perhaps, I've become so involved..Hmmm, watching tennis really sent some excitement and thrill to my life for the past few days..I am so happy,Nole won his first grand slam!Whoosh!! Ace. Breakpoint. Deuce. Advantage. Powerful forehand. nice stroke. 
It's a game full of emotion. Players, roaring, blaming themselves for their mistakes, or roaring for a winner..It's not just about athleticism, fitness, but it also requires mental strength..Can you handle the pressure? Can you remain focus after losing your chance of breaking a point? The opponent of Novak, Jo Tsonga, really played well, so good, so commendable but Novak has the experience, that's where The Djoker got his edge over the opponent! Hmm, but I have to commend Tsonga in the way he handled his defeat.Wow! He's the happiest Grand Slam runner-up I've seen so far (i've been watching tennis since I was a girl of 8, I think). As what the commentator said, you couldn't tell who won by looking at both of their faces.

sorry, rein but i am eating up the words i've said..promise not to like someone in such a way that i want to be with that person someday..but i guess i can excuse myself..
today unexpectedly a message was sent saying he'll come by and just like that i lost myself..he came and what was i believed to be dead, arose..i told myself not to hope, to forget, to move on..but just when i learned to he once again popped into my world..i had give up all hopes and told myself no to feel this way again especially to him but here he goes again..he keeps on doing this over and over again..he surely knows when's the perfect timing..once again, thoughts of him is in my mind..once again, i am inclined to believe there is something beneath..i hated myself, i betrayed myself..i tried to keep it cool but i failed..i guess you couldn't control what's really there inside..in front of him i cannot help but be conscious..eating in front of him is one of the hardest thing to do (what a funny scenario though)..it doesn't take a genius to notice there's something weird going on inside of me..knees weak, hardly speak..just like the song, tried hard to fight it, no way can i deny it..well, i don't know if he feels a bit the same..but one thing is certain i can't help but smile..
haay, nadine, return of the come back..here goes silly old corny me..the pathetic lovestruck me..i thought i could stay the icy nadine..no risk, no pain, carefree, but well with what i am feeling right now, i guess it's ok to risk when you feel like this..so warm in the inside just like eating hershey kisses even better..

Christmas. The most awaited season. Why do we have to wait until the end of the year to celebrate it when Christ wasn't actually born on December but actually on April?  Perhaps, this doesn't matter as long as we feel the spirit of Christmas though the essence of Christmas nowadays seems to be vanishing. Honestly, do people really think about Jesus and the significance of his birth? We spend money, buy gifts, eat plenty, new clothes, new shoes and be merry. It seems commercialized. And there are those people who carol just for the sake of earning money, and don't even say thank you..Or is it strange that we replace the CHRIST in Christmas with an X instead. But still I believe Christmas still lives in everyone's heart...every time we share our time with those we loved, eating together,  giving gifts, just being delighted even though we might not really think directly of Jesus but (even the atheist, non-Christians) still do things that exemplifies Jesus. That's why I still believe that the influence of Christ lies in this worldly world. And I hope Christmas is everyday, how wonderful would that be, though it seems idealistic. But yet Christmas can be everyday and should be everyday, each morning we wake up we shall always be grateful that unto us a Savior is born, that through him men might be.

 

i'm starting to believe that my tongue has a power or  I just have intuitions..i said shane will be called in our graded recitation for sure and she did (was the first one)..that wasn't the only time I accidentally say things out of the blue and it came true..i'm starting to believe i'm very lucky, i was called too again!..i regret missing DEVIANCE night in UP, the band of my cousin participated in Battle of the Bands and someone took off all her clothes (as in naked), now that's deviant! She really is something, I couldn't judge her character, she's a really nice person as of the time when we were groupmates. I missed it because my coursemates (3 comm arts pipz) and i had our Christmas party! I ate as much as I can in Kuya Ed's to make the 99 plus 24pesos (coke) worth it! i received exactly what i suggested a pendant. shane gave a pendant with an N inscribed in it.cute! Demos was there with shane talked about addiction to each other..hehe..no offense!my other classmate had her boyfriend there too!anyways, we went to cats and dogs?!, sang like there's no one around..it's pretty much noise but we had fun!!!!! 

 

 

It felt like judgment day. For four hours I was preparing myself to face the judgment seat by that I mean perusing over 50 pages of biotechnology stuff which is so foreign to me.  It was not meant to be a subject to be taken by non-nat. sci student, at least in my own opinion.
 All I ever thought about this morning was what will happen around 1-2:30, our class in Biotechnology. I guess I should never had this feeling if it wasn't for the hear-says I hear about the professor in this subject. They say if you say something which is not quite the answer, you'll get a negative score and that he asked complicated questions. It's okay to mess up in a written exam that means it's only between you and the teacher, but to stutter in front of your classmates with their eyes on you is thrice the blow to your self-esteem. 
Anyhow, the time did come and I never had butterflies in my stomachs, cold palms, heart beating out of my chest until that time. To make things worse, the graded recitation only covered chapter one when I focused only chapter 2 and 3, but fate was still kind because this time my name wasn't among the three who were called. After the class, all I can I say was wheew.